I'm continually blown away by those of you who have "got it", to whom exercise has practically become a way of life. Those of you who are in the maintaing stage of your weightloss and have earned your right to be at that level through hard work.

I'm still looking (unsuccessfully) for the quick fix.

You'd think reading the dozens of weightloss blogs that I do would have shown me in no uncertain terms that that only way to get there is to work at it constantly. To make sure I realize that each food choice has the potential to affect me positively or negatively, same with decisions to skip exercise.

That's why I like Zanitta's idea, or challenge, rather. Instead of having the mindset that "Ok, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are exercise days" for example, which makes me think "Well, I can skip Wednesday and just make it up Thursday, etc..." this challenge will force me to work out each day and accept that if I fail to exercise a day, I'm actually not going to be able to make it up. This is important because my week break from Curves has made me so lazy and unmotivated to return.

It's Thursday. I have only these three days left this week to squeeze in my 3 days of Curves. I have done it before. I hope to repeat that feat.

---

In unrelated news, I've noticed in the last 4 or 5 months or so that hair seems to be sprouting in the most irritating places on my face. For example, I've found long curling hairs where my jawbone meets my neck and right under my ear! I pluck them but what gives?

Posted at 00:49 | |

With the excuse of a busy work week gone, I still haven't managed to mosey on over to Curves this week. Thankfully, it's only Tuesday.

I have been overdosing on sugar the past few days. Starburst and Scotch mints seem to be my poison of choice.

And I wonder why my stomach seems to be expanding daily.

Posted at 13:47 | |

So I didn't go to Curves for an entire week, after a week of only going twice! I had a pretty good excuse--I worked 8:45-4pm, then 5-9:30pm every night last week and with my mom's 50th birthday bash later that week there was way too much to do. I plan to get back on track tomorrow.

Posted at 14:30 | |

For me, weight and the chance of being in a fulfilling relationship are inextricably linked. I'm overweight and I have never been in a "real" relationship. My relationships have always been online, and happened without my trying to get a "boyfriend". What usually happens is I'll start talking to someone and with the intimacy of friendship, more develops. Following that, correspondance via IRC/email/phone happens for a number of months, followed by actually meeting. I've done this twice. Other times I've just stopped with the online chatting thing.

These relationships fail to be real because of the infrequency of our face to face sessions which results in us only talking when we're in good spirits. You don't really get a good idea of what the person is like all the time. Other problems I have had over the years with the online type of relationship, or relationships that start online, is that I never feel confident that the person is actually attracted to me. In real life, if a guy comes up to you and asks you for coffee or whatever, you know it's based primarily on what he sees, and that he likes what he sees. Superficial, perhaps, but upon closer acquaintance you can find out of you have similar interests, values, etc.

I want a relationship, really badly. I just feel that at the age of 25 I should have at least met one person who thinks that I'm swell. How can it be that I haven't? It's not that I think I'm the nicest, prettiest, smartest girl around but I know there are some people who are comparable to me in these 3 areas who have managed to find not just a boyfriend, but true love. When I get out of work late because there was a problem closing the store, and I'm walking toward the bus stop, just once I wish there was a man waiting for me in his car to drive me home. I'm lonely for someone to go on dates with, from shopping dates to actually dress up dates. I want to have someone who listens to me and who wants to make my wishes come true. I want to have anniversaries to celebrate. I want to have someone who I can lean on when I'm sick of being strong, someone whose hand mine can slip as naturally as if I was born holding it. I'd like someone who tells me I'm pretty when I'm not, and who sometimes comes close to making me believe it, because of the way he looks at me. I'd like someone else to share inside jokes with and have secrets that are just between the two of us.

While think that I deserve these things, that's it's not fair that at age 25 I'm still a single virgin, I also have a hard time imagining it happening to me. I'm an eternal optimist, so I never stop thinking that one of these days I'll either meet the man of my dreams and have him ask me out. But will it? Will it really?

One thing that I have realized is that I can't just sit here waiting for Mr. Right to walk by my house. That was one of the motivators for weightloss: if I lose weight my self confidence will increase, increased self confidence would hopefully lead to my being a generally happier person which should relsult in my being more attractive (physically and mentally) to the opposite sex.

I wish this entry was more eloquent. I know what I'm trying to say but it's not coming out at all as I'd like.

Posted at 13:14 | |

I did it! I'm so glad that I refused to be a lazy bum as I had the earlier part of this week and I went to Curves my requisite three times! It feels good. Can you believe that is 3 weeks in a row? Curves 3 times a week is about half way to being a habit in my books! Wow!

My eating habits are still terrible. I had 4 DQ Blizzards this week (3 medium, 1 small)!! FOUR! If anyone has the WW book of points handy you'll know that one blizzard is at least 80% of the points for a person my weight, perhaps even more. Clearly I've got to get back to where blizzards were a treat, something I didn't get every day just because.

It's a process but I'm going to have to tackle this food part of the weight loss plan very soon.

Posted at 23:39 | |

What day is it? Thursday! How many times have I gone to Curves this week? Zero!

I have 3 days including today to get in my 3 days of Curves this week.

I had better get going, whaddaya think?

Posted at 16:28 | |

I had another good week at Curves. They publish a quarterly magazine now I got a copy of it. It's really good. I didn't really know that they had an eating plan. It looks similar to the South Beach Diet, or what I've heard of that diet but I'm nogt sure if I'm ready to limit my carbs yet.

But they say you could lose about 6lbs in the first week! I've got to read more about this, methinks.

Posted at 20:35 | |

I was able to work Curves into my schedule, unexpectedly, at that! Awesome.

I've got beach volleyball tonight. I'm also seriously thinking about either joining a running club or just runnning on my own.

Posted at 16:56 | |

So I went to Curves this morning and since it's been a month I got measured.

Nothing exciting to report. According to them I've lost one measly pound and maybe a total of 3 inches. It's a bit disappointing but at the same time I wasn't expecting a big loss on account of my atrocious eating habits. And two weeks out of the past 4 I only went once and twice respectively so I can't expect those inconsistencies to just not matter.

I feel good when I go to Curves so that's reason enough to keep going. Hopefully the weight loss will start happening soon. As soon as I keep a firmer control on my eating habits.

Posted at 14:28 | |

I went to Curves Saturday, making it 3 times for this week and I'm just thrilled. I always feel great after going so it makes no sense that I drag my feet so much about going. I love it there. I get a good workout and there are a couple of machines that still need their ass kicked by me. I can't wait until I feel like Curves provides no challenge whatsoever for me.

I get measured this coming week. I don't think there will be any differences in my weight or inches lost becuase nothing fits differently. I can feel good about the fact that if I keep aiming for 3 times a week I will start noticing changes in my body and that's exciting.

Posted at 00:29 | |

Have you joined the PDTD forum? You must! It's just great, with lots of info from weight loss stuff to facial care! Joelle and Kathy rock bigtime!

I admire those two for so many reasons.

Posted at 02:40 | |

This was a bad, bad week for going to Curves. I went only once, on Thursday morning. The good thing is that I defintely got in a lot of walking this past week, hours of it. I'm working for Elections Canada for a few weeks and it's the door to door stuff that I've been doing most nights of the past week.

I must get to Curves my requisite 3 times next week! My sister's totally beating me on this challenge! My mom even got to Curves 3x this week.

Posted at 21:08 | |

I didn't get in my three days of Curves for last week so the plan is to do 4 days this week.

I woke up at 7am. I stayed in bed until 9:15 and then was almost late for work. Terrible! Imagine if I had started my day when I woke up! Not only would I have have more energy right now, but I'd also be only 3 days away from my 4 days this week goal! Oh well, no use beating myself up!

I did go last Saturday, woke up early to do that (Curves is only open from 8am-12pm and I was working at 1pm so I had to make sure to fit it in).

I need something that keeps track of my attendance at Curves better.

Posted at 13:19 | |

And I did. I plan to go again tomorrow morning, then Saturday morning which will make it two days in a row. It'll be my first time doing that and I know I'll be feeling that on Sunday, if not Saturday night. But it's do-able.

I got to Curves at around 7:15pm last night. They close at 8pm so I ended up being the last person there, though I had time to spare to do my stretches. It's actually a good time to come because there aren't too many people (no waiting for machines!) and you don't have people behind you breathing down your neck. You can spend a little extra time on each machine.

The machines I mentioned before are still kicking my butt. I find the thigh press one by far the most difficult and straining but by the time I'm on my third trip around, it's all hard work.

Posted at 16:12 | |

Man, have I ever had a case of the munchies these past few weeks. I have indulged each and every whim, which is just terrible for my waistline. Now, instead of noticing big changes when it's weigh in time, I'm sure I might be even bigger.

I will go to Curves tonight.

Posted at 14:21 | |

I should have gone to Curves on Friday but I was lazy so I woke up early on Saturday I went. I was so glad I put in my 3 times for the week because they are only open from 8am-12pm on Saturdays and it was pretty tempting to just sleep in. But I didn't. Yay!

Curves was closed Monday so I plan to go today instead. That means I have to get my butt in bed. Now.

My sugar intake has been sky high of late. I need to curb it. I will consciously avoid sugar this week.

Posted at 02:26 | |

I went to Curves again today and I had a good workout despite having slept for only 4.5 hours.

When I walked in to the main work out area, a woman looked at me and said "Cotton Ginny!" (the retail store I work at) and asked if I get recognized often. She was just finishing her post workout stretch so she left shortly after.

There are two machines in particular that I do not like:

1. The thigh press machine.
   This is a simple machine where you sit down, insert your calves in these two swingy things and move your legs in and out to work those calf muscles. I loved this machine at the University gym I used to go to but I don't like it here. Why? Because my big calves always get lodged in the machine! It takes me a few extra seconds to get off the machine because of it and I'm sure the person behind me wants to just push me off.
   
   
2. The calf curl machine.
   I don't like this one a lot because the bar that you've got to do the curls with lies right on my shin (I wish it were closer to my ankle) so that I feel like I have a perpetual case of shin splints every time I do the machine.

There is also the evil squat machine where you've got this 1,000,000 pound weight on your shoulders and you've got to squat as if sitting on a chair with that weight on your shoulders. It's a definite challenge.

It's cool though. I just pick one of my least favourite machines to start with and that way I don't end the workout with it! I find the women there mostly keep to themselves but are very open to exchanging smiles with you.

When I think of how long this process is going to take, I wonder how I could have let myself get this big, how my craving for sweets can continue to persist. I have always liked gyms because looking at other women who are further along on the path of weight loss has always been encouraging. I hope I'm one day a source of encouragement to someone else.

Posted at 15:32 | |

I went to Curves this morning. I didn't end up going on Saturday as planned because I had to go to the other side of town bright and early to buy a wedding gift because my local Sears had sold out of it.

As usual, I felt the work out and sweated lots. My heart rate was up in the 75-80% range the whole time and I was a lot less self conscious jogging in place on the shock absorbing stations. By the end I was even doing some tae cardio/kickboxing moves while jogging in place.

One of the staff was leading a newbie through the stations and she told her that within 2 weeks you should start noticing differences in your body. Since I only went once last week, this'll be week one for me. I can't wait to see and feel differences in my body!

I had a nice walk there and back (the weather's lovely today). I can't wait to do this again Wednesday (well, I can wait but it's all about telling yourself that you love pushing yourself and sweating and hurting!

Posted at 13:41 | |

A bit of redundancy from the last entry but I wrote a more detailed entry about my first day at Curves so I'd like to put that down here too.

As I mentioned my mom was kind enough to pay for a 4 month membership for my sister and I so I can no longer use the excuse of not having the cash to join a gym. I'm going to see how I feel by the end of the 4 months and see if I want to stick with Curves or go with a more convential gym.

I went to the first introductory meeting today. I was weighed, measured, showed how to use all the machines and then left on my own. I went around the stations the requisite 3 times for a total of a 30 minute workout, followed by stretching. And contrary to my popular belief (that Curves is really for older women and that a young thing like myself wouldn't find it challenging) I sweated like a pig! Well not quite that badly (because we all know how pigs sweat!) but I certainly did sweat. I'm glad. And my heart rate got to the recommended level (70%) after the first time around the stations and by the end of it I was at 80%.

Now I know my measurements which I really didn't need want to know. At the same time it's great to know that I'm on my way to shrinking those large numbers. My % bodyfat is horrifying! But at least I'm on a healthy path now. I will keep you updated. Next visit to Curves is Saturday morning.

Oh, I love how it's about a 12 minute walk from our house and getting there any other way (other than biking) would actually take longer than walking! I may be less enthusiastic about this fact when the weather outside is bad but for now it's great!

The other women there this morning were of varied ages. There was one girl who looked to be in her 20s, 2 or 3 who were in their 30s and women in their 40s, 50s and perhaps 60s. Quite a diverse group.

I heard one of the people in charge say something that I believe is false. A member of Curves who is at most 10 or 15 pounds overweight told the coordinator that she hasn't seen a loss in weight or inches in the 2 months that she's been a member of Curves. One of the responses of the Curves coordinator gave, and she had a few, was that maybe she's not drinking enough water because water "flushes out your fat cells". Huh? I've always been told that you have a certain number of fat cells and while you can shrink the size of these cells you cannot get rid of them. Isn't that the case? What does she mean, flush them out? Liar! :)

Posted at 04:02 | |

Alright. I think I've figured out how to link to individual entries. Hurray! Next Curves day? Saturday morning! My sister is going Friday morning to get all measured up and do her workout. It's all good! She doesn't have as much to lose as I do so I will have to work hard to not be envious and be supportive as she will be of me.

Posted at 03:01 | |